“So, the reason all those night watchmen are bedridden with injuries is because...”
Nan Zhi spoke dryly, finding it somewhat unbelievable:
“...they were injured by a ghost with a sorghum stalk in the—”
Butt?
“Precisely.”
Nan Yi looked as if he wanted to laugh but didn’t dare to. Beside him, Constable Zhang had already doubled over with laughter, slapping his chest in merriment:
“Hahaha! In all my years, I’ve never heard of an evil spirit tormenting people like this!
Even if folks from the Demon Suppression Division showed up, I bet they wouldn’t believe it either! Hahahahaha!!”
What a menace.
What an absolute menace.
As everyone knows, one is most relaxed when using the latrine.
Not only because it provides a space of total privacy, but also because one can let their nature loose.
Who could have imagined being ambushed in the safest place of all?!
And to be attacked in such a harrowing manner as having a corn stalk shoved into one’s butt!
Regardless of why this ghost did it, wasn’t it utterly rotten to the core?!
Nan Zhi silently opened her map, stared at the red name in the corner, and whispered to Constable Zhang and Nan Yi:
“Ghosts have no physical form; even if they sought to harm people, they wouldn’t act like this.
The demon is hiding in the backyard latrine. Let’s quietly surround it and catch it in the act.”
Hearing that they were going to catch a monster, Constable Zhang rubbed his fists in excitement. He volunteered to take the lead, having the Nan siblings cover the rear.
The three of them agreed on a plan: Constable Zhang would pretend to use the latrine to draw the monster out, while Nan Zhi and Nan Yi waited outside the wall to launch a pincer ambush.
“Don’t worry! It’s just a little demon. I guarantee it won’t get away!”
Constable Zhang rattled the long saber at his waist, brimming with confidence:
“Neither of you even need to step in—I can handle it all by myself!”
So what if it poked people’s butts with sorghum stalks?
At worst, he’d just stay on guard and protect his vitals ahead of time. He didn’t believe the monster could succeed then!
Nan Zhi watched as Constable Zhang marched confidently into the latrine.
Why did she have a bad feeling about this?
Sure enough, after the time it took to burn an incense stick, Constable Zhang’s agonized howling echoed from the latrine:
“Motherfucker! Aaaargh! You bastard, you actually... urgh... used... shit and piss... for a sneak attack... urgh...”
Nan Zhi: “...”
She wasn’t surprised in the least.
On the map, the three characters in red, 【Red Fox】, were glaringly obvious.
Fox spirits in novels: seductive, alluring, breathtakingly beautiful, bewitching hearts with a single smile.
Fox spirits in reality: petty, holding grudges, poking your asshole with corn stalks, and splashing you with piss and shit.
...
In truth, the fox had almost no combat power.
A moment later, Nan Zhi caught the “culprit” who had ambushed Constable Zhang at the entrance of the alley.
It was a large fox covered entirely in red fur.
The fox was fierce, incessantly hissing at Nan Zhi:
“Hsss—”
Humans were human because they knew how to use tools.
Wielding a pitchfork, Nan Zhi swiftly pinned the smelly fox into the corner in a few clean moves.
Though she couldn’t smell it through the screen, she still couldn’t resist finding a water vat to toss the fox in and rinse it off.
Jabbing butts with corn stalks, splashing poop...
She had never seen such utterly shameless and nasty tricks.
...
【Congratulations, Cultivator, on defeating the demon “Red Fox”】
【Victory achieved. Obtained: Hemostatic Grass ×20, Copper Coins ×5, Blood Supplementing Pill ×5】
【Obtained: Level EXP 100, Local Reputation +10】
【Cultivator’s Current Level: 7】
【Cultivator’s Cultivation: Qi Refinement level 1】
The fox was as large as a calf, with whiskers and fur of an exceptionally rare, vivid crimson.
Its long tail was tucked between its legs, and its triangular face bore a thoroughly human expression of desperate pleading:
“Young Mistress, Immortal! No, no—Beautiful Lady!”
The fox batted its narrow, slanted eyes innocently, trying to gain Nan Zhi’s sympathy:
“This little demon was originally just a wild fox in the mountains. One day, I was fortunate enough to swallow a spirit herb, which granted me sapience and allowed me to step onto the path of the Dao.
“Seeing the noble air between Your Ladyship’s brows and a beauty not of this mortal world, and this young master possessing such dignified bearing and righteous aura, the two of you must surely possess great abilities and prestigious backgrounds!
“If Your Ladyship would spare this little demon, I am willing to take Your Ladyship as my godmother! From now on, all the wild fruits and mountain delicacies will be yours for the taking, and whatever Your Ladyship commands, I shall never dare disobey!”
Expressionless, Nan Zhi gave the scruff of its neck a hard pinch:
“Shut up, you filthy fox who loves poking people’s butts and splashing dung water.
No wonder they say foxes are cunning... I don’t believe a single word coming out of your mouth.”
Though low in level, this fox was exceedingly sly; even a veteran constable like Constable Zhang had suffered miserably at its paws.
—The moment Constable Zhang emerged from the latrine, he headed straight for home without leaving a word.
Clearly, he was furious beyond measure.
This red fox had originally been causing trouble in the Wang Family Bridge area. Stealing chickens, chasing dogs, snatching silver, and making mischief were all routine for it.
What was most absurd was that this fox always hid in people’s firewood piles, crowing like a rooster in the dead of night to disturb everyone’s sleep.
As if that weren’t enough, after entering the county, it even stole women’s robes and silk dresses to drape over itself, mimicking humans walking down the road in the middle of the night.
Whenever it encountered a night watchman, this red fox would pull on them, open its maw wide, and ask:
“Look at me—do I look like a human, or a god?”
Just imagine: in the dead of night, with the town pitch-black, a night watchman walked along a lane holding a lantern with a faint flicker of light.
In the distance, he saw a slender woman swaying toward him, but looking closer, beneath the veil was a red fox grinning with a bloody maw.
Scared out of his wits, the watchman dropped his lantern on the spot and fled without a word.
Even worse, this fox held a grudge, deliberately waiting for the watchmen to use the latrine so it could douse them with feces and urine.
And while they were dropping their trousers, it would even jab their butts with a sorghum stalk!
What an absolute menace!
Just now, Constable Zhang hadn’t been paying attention and was hit with a direct “cataclysm” of filth.
Nan Zhi had nearly been splashed too.
Even if it was just her game character getting splashed, it was still thoroughly revolting.
...
Dressed in his yamen runner uniform, Nan Yi stood to the side holding a scroll of records. Hearing Nan Zhi say this, he asked curiously:
“This fox has been squeaking and chattering for quite a while. Did it confess anything?”
—He couldn’t understand fox speech. That string of flattering words sounded like nothing more than a barrage of bizarre squeals to Nan Yi.
“It said the fox clan will never be slaves, that it would rather die than surrender, and asked us to give it a quick death.”
Nan Zhi shook the half-dead fox in her hand and gave a pair of sinister chuckles as she eyed its red pelt.
The red fox’s fur bristled all over as it struggled frantically. “Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak!!!”
That wasn’t what I said at all!!
You’re slandering a demon!
You’re slandering a demon, I say!
—In its panic, it even forgot how to speak human words to beg for mercy.
“Is this fox the monster that scared the watchmen so badly they didn’t dare go on night patrol these past few days?”
Holding the document, Nan Yi traced his finger down the written records. After a moment, he smiled and said:
“In that case, Eldest Sister has rendered another meritorious service for the county yamen. How do you plan to deal with this monster, Eldest Sister?”
“If we send it straight to the county yamen, this fox will probably be killed anyway.”
Nan Zhi pondered for a moment. “Why don’t we just kill it right here? Sister Ye mentioned a couple of days ago that she was missing a fur vest.
“Isn’t this perfect? We can skin it today and sew a red fox vest. What do you think, Brother Yi?”
That’s even worse than sending it to the county yamen.
Nan Yi glanced at the despondent red fox, his hand holding the scroll pausing slightly:
“There’s a hunter in the north of the county who specializes in skinning. He can peel off a complete pelt with all the whiskers and fur intact, and even the eyes remain lifelike.
“Why don’t we take it to him? What do you say?”
【Cultivator Choice (Cannot be reloaded, please choose carefully):】
【A. Those who are not of our kind will surely harbor different intentions; it must be eradicated completely.】
【B. Heaven values all living things; spare its life just this once.】
Rate on N.U.
