Chapter 7 | You Said You Only Wanted to Die

Feng Yi’s body lurched, nearly causing him to tumble off his bed.

He had just woken up and intended to check on his disciples’ activities. However, the moment he released his divine sense, he heard his youngest disciple utter such a world-shaking sentence.

Who was kissing him? Why didn’t he know about it?!

Mu Wenyan and Duan Xianxing coughed violently. They swore they had never kissed their master!

No! That wasn’t the point at all!

Duan Xianxing’s brain had completely stalled. Weren’t they just talking about a sword name? Why did it jump to whether he was kissing their master or not? Was his illustrious reputation about to be ruined by the mouth of his little junior sister?

Mu Wenyan closed his eyes, opened them, took a deep breath, and turned to glare at Duan Xianxing with gritted teeth.

"Duan! Xian! Xing! What kind of nonsense have you been telling our little junior sister?" As he spoke, he moved to unsheathe his sword.

"I’m innocent, Eldest Senior Brother! Little Junior Sister, quickly explain! Aaaah!"

Duan Xianxing ducked behind Li Nanzhu. He truly felt wronged this time. Why was he still the one taking the blame even after a junior sister had joined them?

Li Nanzhu said urgently, "What I just said was the name of the sword!"

The scene fell into a dead silence once more.

"Ahem. Don't you guys think that during a fight, while everyone else is shouting things like 'Sword, come!' or 'To me, my blade!', if you shout 'Does it feel good to kiss Master?', I don’t care what others think, but the enemy would definitely be stunned!"

Although it sounded like a crooked, unorthodox path... why did it actually seem to make sense when the little junior sister explained it?

Duan Xianxing was weirdly tempted, and even Mu Wenyan suddenly felt a stray urge to rename his sword. Battles between masters were often decided in an instant; even a single mistake could cost one's life. If things really went as she said, it was actually... feasible?

In the next second, Feng Yi’s cold voice echoed in their ears.

"None of you are allowed to use that name!"

Oh boy. They were doomed. The master had heard them.

The three of them shut their mouths like quiet little quails. Only after confirming that no more sounds were coming from Feng Yi did Li Nanzhu speak again.

"Actually, I have other names."

"Tell me, Little Junior Sister!"

At this moment, Duan Xianxing felt that he truly adored his junior sister. Being the scapegoat didn't matter; after all, it wasn’t his first or second time. Now, he only wanted to get a name for his treasure that would scare his opponents to death.

"How about 'The Color of the Sect Master’s Underwear'?"

"THAT IS ESPECIALLY FORBIDDEN!!!!"

This time, Feng Yi’s voice came directly from the direction of the Sect Master’s Peak, showing just how much he detested that name.

"Xiao Qi! Xiao Ba! After you return, both of you will copy the Cleansing Heart Sutra five hundred times!"

...

"We can only pick another name then..." Duan Xianxing scratched his head with some regret. Even though he was being punished, he really wanted to use it!

Who could refuse an ability that could hard-stun an enemy for several seconds? But if he actually used it, his master would probably charge down from the Sect Master’s Peak to hunt him down. He could only leave the idea behind with regret.

After a discussion among the three, Mu Wenyan and Li Nanzhu finally learned that the name Duan Xianxing originally wanted was 'The Invincible Thunderbolt Wild Cool Flashy World-Destroying Demon-Slaying Sword'. Due to it being too long and too chuunibyou, the two of them promptly and unanimously rejected it.

As for explosive names like 'Senior, Have Mercy' or 'Fellow Daoist, Look at My Legs', if the sword ever birthed a sword spirit, the first person it would kill would probably be its master, Duan Xianxing. In the end, they chose the most normal one: 'Wait a Moment'.

Although, perhaps, it was still quite abnormal.

So, when Duan Xianxing suggested that Mu Wenyan also change the name of his sword, Mu Wenyan refused decisively. He now felt that the name Bichen was truly beautiful.

It was much better than something like 'Invincible Thunderbolt Wild Cool Flashy World-Destroying Demon-Slaying'.

Mu Wenyan just wanted to go back and have a good rest. He had never realized that babysitting could be this exhausting. Before, he thought looking after Duan Xianxing was the biggest hassle, but now that a junior sister had been added, the combined explosive power of these two was a perfect case of one plus one being greater than two.

Now, he probably wouldn't find anything she said to be too outrageous.

"But I have one more question."

Seeing Li Nanzhu's thirst for knowledge, Mu Wenyan decided to hear what she wanted to ask first. What if it was a question about cultivation?

"A sword cultivator's sword is their wife, right?"

"I know this one! A sword cultivator will only have one wife in their entire life, and that is their sword!" Duan Xianxing answered first.

Mu Wenyan suddenly had an ill omen. He felt that his junior sister was about to say something that would make him break character. He wanted to stop her, but it was already too late.

"In that case, is the scabbard the clothes? When a sword cultivator uses their sword to fight others, does it count as stripping their wife’s clothes in public and then—mmph! mmph!"

The latter half of the sentence was cut off as Mu Wenyan directly covered her mouth.

Mu Wenyan was currently having a mental breakdown. Truly. He felt like the dignified and upright persona he had maintained for over twenty years was about to shatter. Where on earth did his junior sister get so many strange ideas?

"...Then every time I send my life-bound sword to a weapon refiner for repairs, isn’t that like stripping its clothes and sending it to—mmph!"

Mu Wenyan treated her to a silence spell from her eldest senior brother.

She could have talked about anything else, but she just had to say that.

Really.

The little junior sister's own strength might be weak, but that mouth of hers had terrifying lethality.

Meanwhile, Feng Yi, who had eavesdropped on the whole conversation, was wondering what kind of creature he had actually recruited into the sect. He knew her mouth was lethal when he recruited her, but he thought she would only attack those fools at the Sword Heart Sect. He didn't expect her to attack everyone equally.

If Li Nanzhu knew what Feng Yi was thinking, she would definitely cry foul. She was just asking perfectly normal questions, okay?

That didn't count as an attack at all. She was already being very restrained in front of her two senior brothers, alright?

But judging from the current situation, the mental states of the three sword cultivators present were not very good.

Once he accepted the setting that a scabbard was clothing, Duan Xianxing felt like his world was collapsing. He almost wanted to hug his sword and wail. His wife had actually been... by other people...

Uuuuh, he had failed 'Wait a Moment'. He silently vowed that in the future, he must learn weapon refinement himself to maintain his wife.

Mu Wenyan was currently working hard to straighten out his junior sister's logic.

"Little Junior Sister, although a sword is a sword cultivator’s wife, you see, a sword hasn't birthed a sword spirit yet. In essence, it is still an inanimate object. We can't treat it as a person, right?"

To correct his junior sister, Mu Wenyan had started making up lies against his conscience, silently apologizing to Bichen in his heart.

"Humans feel shame for not wearing clothes, but a scabbard is a shell that protects it. A scabbard can also be considered a sword's weapon. Therefore, it isn't clothes, and that idea of yours doesn't exist."